Why am I not Peacefully Retired????

Our “THE INSIDE SCOOP” interview with Cyndee Barrette, Sole Proprietor Crazy Bitch BBQ Sauce concludes with this anecdote.

Over the course of the year, the “Scoop” collects anecdotes to publish. Cyndee Barrette, Sole Proprietor Crazy Bitch BBQ Sauce shares with our THE INSIDE SCOOP this “anecdote”…

Why am I not Peacefully Retired????

(An anecdotal account of a so-called-not-so-part-time-unplanned-business!)

Let me begin by saying The Tale of the Crazy Bitch is a factual account of how I arrived at this point and the names HAVE NOT been changed to protect the innocent (see www.crazybitch.ca). Let me ALSO say that I am not 20 years old and spent my life in a less-than-satisfying job that thankfully had great perks and I am more thankfully retired from! I say this because I was no doubt a petri dish waiting to grow!

Being a ‘child of the north’ born and raised in Timmins area (South Porcupine, specifically) I have done my time with the cold and snow so living in Barrie makes me feel like I am in Florida and driving to Parry Sound in November is not an unfamiliar feat for me. I attend a great juried artisan event there every year at the Stockey Centre (Home of Bobby Orr memorabilia).

Things were going just too well this year and I entered the parking lot in preparation for a good unload and set up when BANG!!! I thought I was being attacked by snipers….I then realized that I was ‘lowering’! When I saw a look of horror come across a witness to all this, I really knew I was in trouble! It seems that something (still don’t know what) was protruding from a snow laden cement median and punctured my driver front tire – yes, the very tire that my husband had said “Cyndee – you KNOW you NEED to replace those winter tires soon”! I proceeded to ‘melt down’ & wail (an art form I have perfected) but, luckily the nice witness had CAA and in an effort to calm me down, called them. As luck would also have it, SHE KNEW A MECHANIC!!! (double big YAY!)

Within two hours, little men from CAA arrived and put my ‘doughnut spare’ on….I didn’t even know where it was but after digging through a lifetime supply of ‘green grocery bags’ and old running shoes (in case I saw something nice in the forest while driving and needed to take off my pumps to retrieve it), there it was! I will say at this point that to this day, I never paid a dime for this service and I assume the nice witness lady had credit in that area so she was handsomely paid in all gluten free CRAZY BITCH BBQ SAUCES!  She was thrilled and so was I.

Well as it turned out the mechanic friend lived a distance out of town and couldn’t come and get the car and I needed to stop freaking out and set up for the masses waiting to attend this awesome event. That meant I had to go to the Canadian Tire in Parry Sound at quitting time and beg, plead, cry and yes, eat (an entire box of licorice all sorts – my drug of choice). They too were paid handsomely with CRAZY BITCH BBQ SAUCES! They no doubt thought I was the Crazy Bitch despite my telling them all about Ginger, the poster girl!

The happy ending here was that only $130 later, all was well by 6:30 p.m. and I was so worn out from the stress of it all, I slowly went to the hotel and collapsed until the second day of this event….I am firmly of the belief that I will NEVER die of a heart attack because if ever it was going to happen, then that would have been the time.

I don’t know a soul in Parry Sound and was alone for the event. The entire day looked like a re-run of The Bugs Bunny Show featuring the Roadrunner, the Tasmanian Devil (me) and Foghorn Leghorn!  I was exhausted!  And yes, I DO keep asking myself, ‘why am I not peacefully retired?!’

Cyndee Barrette, Sole Proprietor Crazy Bitch BBQ Sauce
"on the road"

P.S.  To this day, my ‘observant husband’ STILL doesn’t realize that I have one BRAND NEW WINTER TIRE on that red 2008 Toyota Prius Hybrid that ‘needed’ new winter tires! My cover will, however, be blown come the Spring when he arranges to have the ‘snows’ removed and the summer ones installed. I will then puff out my chest and advise him that he doesn’t notice EVERYTHING about a car that he THINKS he does!  He is too preoccupied with the ‘car that ruined my life’ outside in the driveway which is HIS….an UNPAID FOR 2014 Limited Edition Jeep Cherokee that I DID NOT WANT!  (BUT that is another story…….).

Don’t forget to check out Crazy Bitch BBQ Sauce at www.crazybitch.ca. I’m sure Cyndee will be glad you checked out her website to laugh along and enjoy!